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    Origins The person-centred counselling approach to therapy emphasizes the relationship between the therapist and the client. It was developed by a psychologist called Carl Rogers. He had been primarily working with children before turning his attention to working with adults. Rogers believed that everyone has the need to feel heard, listened to, understood in order…

    ‘Flying Monkey’ is the term given to those agents and allies that collude with an abusive person. Their role is to continue carrying out tormenting the victim on their behalf. If it’s during the relationship, the abuser gets to abuse by proxy as it’s other people that are getting their hands dirty. If it’s after…

    Men’s Alliance NI is a unique peer support group for Male Victims of Domestic Abuse, operating through a private group on Facebook. There are hundreds of members who are victims and survivors of Domestic Abuse, Support Professionals, Social Workers and Counsellors all there and ready to help, advise and support any new members, and covering…

    In this video Darren Magee discusses embarrassment, guilt, shame and when and how that shame becomes toxic. Carl Jung described shame as the ‘soul eating emotion’ Behaviours: Social anxiety Avoidance Addiction Co-Dependancy Emotional Dysregulation: Overwhelming fear Low Self-esteem Low Self-confidence My own self-loathing Beliefs: I am bad I am no good Where it comes from…

    The ABC Model comes from the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach to counselling. Developed by Albert Ellis who recognised it isn’t always a particular situation that causes stress but rather our perception, belief of that situation.

    Ok so it’s World Mental Day. What does that mean? What is your mental health? Hang on, isn’t mental health only something that happens to other people? I say that because I remember many years ago when studying counselling an old woman in her seventies, following me around the place I worked in talking at…

    Trauma Bonding Trauma bonding refers to the attachment victims of abuse or neglect form with their abuser. Sometimes that attachment takes the form of obsessive thoughts of hatred or revenge. More commonly though it refers to a fear of, and loyalty towards the perpetrator. Because of that loyalty the victim may sometimes confuse this fear…

    According to Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy (REBT) we have 12 irrational beliefs that can cause us distress. The first five are: 1. The belief that it is a necessity for adults to be loved by significant others for almost everything they do. Instead of concentrating on our own self-respect,on loving rather than on being loved. 2. The belief that certain acts…

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