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    Some people fall in love at first sight and get married immediately. Others spend hours deciding whether to wear black or grey socks.

    Seeing the world as yes or no, black or white, or indeed different shades of gray can affect people’s choices, whether choosing a job, a relationship or which politician candidate to vote for. Those with conflicting feelings and opinions are more ambivalent, while those who make their minds up quickly have less ambivalence.


    Sometimes in therapy a client can be aware of self defeating behaviours, thoughts and attitudes. They know that these often lead to self fulfilling prophecies, for example I believe I’m no good at this – I do a half assed attempt – it fails and I feel justifies in my belief. The client can be aware that something isn’t right and needs to change. the difficulty comes in knowing what that change is, what it looks like, how it feels, what difference would it make, who would notice and so on.

    Another aspect of change is fear. Sometimes people fear change as it could mean widening their comfort zone, stepping out into the unknown.

    Solution focused therapy can help manage and address ambivalence as it actively explores and seeks out change. As the saying goes, if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.

    If you think you would benefit from solution focused therapy in Belfast contact Sentient Counselling.


    This article was written by sentientcounselling