A Good Thing and the Right Thing

Is doing a good thing always the right thing to do? On the surface they both look the same. It can look and feel like doing a good thing is what’s right. Is it always best to tell the truth? Is it always best to step in to help others? What do we do when faced with a moral or ethical dilemma?

 

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”     Benjamin Franklin

 

We are all faced with difficult decisions from time to time and our options aren’t always comfortable. Perhaps doing the right thing isn’t always easy. It can be difficult and cause a level of discomfort, whereas doing a good thing makes us feel better. There are times we will make what is the kindest most loving choice.

In many professional caring roles there are boundaries and limits to the level and types of support that can be offered to people. There are specific roles, ethical frameworks and codes of conduct to follow and adhere to. These protect both the service users and the staff.

Some people might struggle with doing the right thing because of how it might feel. Others might have a belief that doing a good thing is always the right thing. Some might not recognize the difference and make decisions based on how they feel about what they want, even regardless of the needs or wishes of others. Some people have rigid boundaries and will follow protocol pedantically. Others put themselves in a supportive and helpful role. Perhaps it’s their caring nature, perhaps it’s a role they were in growing up at home. They may feel wounded if told their good deed wasn’t what was wanted or necessary. This can result in a cognitive dissonance.

Imagine for example a loved one having a birthday coming up. It would be nice to have a party for them. So, you make plans. A venue is organised, a gift is bought, and guests are invited. Everyone will have a great time and you feel good about yourself for bringing joy to others. That is a good thing. How about if the person didn’t want a party.  What if they had told you they had made other plans? It might have felt like a good thing but was it right to go against the persons wishes based on what you felt was best?

Or what if a gambling addict has lost all their money and needs to feed their family, meet overdue mortgage payments and various other bills. You know the desperation they are in but they already owe you and many others a lot of money. Is it the right thing to bail them out yet again knowing there’s a huge risk they’ll gamble the loan away?

 

 “Doing the right thing for someone else occasionally means doing something that feels wrong to you.”     Jodi Picoult

 

There aren’t always cases as clear as these but it is with experience we learn the difference between the two and make more informed as well as caring decisions.

Tags: cognitive dissonance, ethical, gambling addiction, moral