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Tag archive: abuse
‘Flying Monkey’ is the term given to those agents and allies that collude with an abusive person. Their role is to continue carrying out tormenting the victim on their behalf. If it’s during the relationship, the abuser gets to abuse by proxy as it’s other people that are getting their hands dirty. If it’s after…
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Distress Tolerance Emotional dysregulation is a difficulty in managing difficult feelings. We all have uncomfortable feelings such as stress, anxiety, guilt, frustration and so on from time to time and in certain situations. We also have different levels of distress tolerance. Our reactions and responses are managed through emotional regulation to help keep a sense…
Following in the series of malignant diversionary tactics used by malignant and toxic people, here are a few more strategies used to distract and confuse their victims. Nonsensical conversations Circular conversations to disorientate and gaslight are a common diversion tactic of narcissists to confuse and discredit you. They aim to distract you from the main…
Following from the previous articles, below are different behaviours for recognizing diversion tactics used by toxic people, used to distract and confuse their victims. Loving and devaluing A common tactic used by narcissists is to charm you until you are hooked to want some kind of relationship with them. They will flatter you while berating…
Following from the previous articles on different the diversion tactics of toxic people, here are a few more employed by toxic, manipulative people to distract from the issue at hand. Gaslighting Gaslighting is a term used to describe an insidious act of manipulation. It is when someone tries to distort your experience and reality. It…
Following from the previous article on different diversion tactics, here are a few more employed by toxic, manipulative people. Misrepresentation This tactic is a way of making your thoughts, feelings or opinions seem irrational or absurd. It is a way of drawing attention to your flaws or lack of experience. For example, if you were…
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The power of validating and being validated can’t be understated. As human beings we all have a need to feel heard. To have others reflect and mirror us. We have a need to feel empathy from others. Even if at times it’s just for the sake of feeling sane we have a need to feel…
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Narcissism When we hear the term narcissist we tend to think of a lack of empathy and extroverted grandiosity. We imagine overt control, manipulation and the abuse of others. However, like most characteristics there is a range of different shades and types, and narcissism is no different. The covert narcissist can be difficult to spot…
What is meant by the term reactive abuse? It’s a term which can sometimes seem confusing. Here’s an example which hopefully illustrates it. Imagine two people. One is called Person A and the other called Person B. A and B are in a relationship. Person A begins poking Person B with a stick and here’s…
Is it okay to be in a relationship where you feel as if you don’t matter? When is it okay to not have your needs met? Is it reasonable to be told you’re selfish and wrong for having needs, values, and boundaries? Ever been left sometimes feeling as if you really are selfish for even having needs?…