Fear of Confrontation

The fear of confrontation can be stifling. Sometimes we fear confronting others because we dwell on the consequences, such as an angry response or a damaged relationship. This is usually due to our beliefs around confrontation. One belief is that confrontation has to be ugly. Sometimes we believe that when you challenge someone, the relationship will always end up worse off but this isn’t true. If handled correctly it can strengthen a relationship by opening up lines of communication and removing obstacles to a deeper connection.

Sometimes we believe belief that our self-worth is determined by the approval of others. The problem with this belief is that we can’t control what others think of us so we’re always playing a losing game. Since we can’t control others opinions of us, why tie ourselves in knots and put up with being unhappy for the sake of trying to influence that opinion.

Focusing on what we want from the confrontation rather than the process we can sometimes feel less afraid to speak our mind. We may stop assuming that doing so will make people defensive. We can learn to ask for what we want in a way that others will be happy to accommodate. We can stop seeing others as rivals we need to protect ourselves from.

#assertiveness

Tags: assertiveness, communication, counselling Belfast, fear of confrontation