Big boys don’t cry

Big boys don’t cry ….Well actually they do. In fact the ‘bigger’ they are I believe the more comfortable they are with being able to show their emotion, as well as cry. In today’s culture many men suffer some form of abuse in one way or another just as women do.

Abuse can be seen as one person inflicting some kind of control over another without their consent, causing emotional distress and upset.

I have noticed the most common form of abuse would be verbal, usually from people we would call our friends or family. It can be as subtle as a joke with a jag to an outright insult. Another name for this would be ‘one-upmanship’. No matter how close we may think we are to our friends whenever someone achieves or gains something sometimes others immediately attack them or their efforts. They do this and call it joking. If you’re offended ever notice how they blame you for not having a sense of humour?

A man will sometimes tolerate it and laugh it off when others tease him, compromising more and more until he has little self esteem or confidence left. He tends to become ‘conditioned’ to do the same when the abuse comes from his children, parents, employers, wife, girlfriend or neighbour.

Counselling can help people make sense of what’s happening, to become more assertive and communicate clearly what they think and how they feel with confidence. It can help you recognise your values and to communicate them clearly.

#abuse

Tags: abuse, anxiety, assertiveness, communication, counselling