Couples Counselling

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    Our own sense of identity and worth often depends on the strength of our relationships. We can fall into despair when our closest relationship fails. Our closest relationship, to our partner, is based on intimacy and trust. If it isn’t there or if it deteriorates our health and happiness suffer.

    It’s normal for relationships feel the pressure and stress of everyday life. However under this pressure the love may disappear and be replaced by anger or resentment.

    Solid foundations are important in relationships. For example two people with unresolved issues causing unhappiness rarely stay together. Sometimes we feel our partner can compensate for earlier pain but this hope often leads to yet more disappointment. Self-respect is a good quality to bring to a relationship.

    Some of the causes of problems in the relationship include stress, depression, disappointment with expectations, life changes, betrayal, illness, birth of a child, children leaving home, lack of communication or external pressures.

    The signs of relationship problems may include a breakdown of communication, ongoing arguments with never any resolution, lack of sex and intimacy, depression, lack of trust, or violence

    Both people have their own values and beliefs and both must feel heard and understood in order to thrive in a relationship. This often means developing new skills. Counselling can help explore and understand our beliefs, particularly about conflict which we may have learned from our families. It is unrealistic to think arguments can be avoided. Being able to manage arguments and differences is vital in a relationship. It is important to recognize differences  otherwise one partner may dominate and the other is left feeling irrelevant and devalued.

    Arguments are a healthy and essential part of any relationship and can energise it if carried out skilfully. Indirect anger and domestic violence are destructive.

    Renegotiating your relationship in counselling can help make it more realistic, honest and deeper. It can help you argue in a skilled, healthy and less destructive way.

    For couples counselling in Belfast contact Sentient Counselling.


    This article was written by sentientcounselling