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Toxic Relationships (Part 2)
The second part of last weeks subject. Being in a relationship with a toxic person can be unhealthy. Your self-confidence and self-esteem can begin to suffer the longer you are exposed to them. Here are some behaviours of a toxic person.
They are envious and jealous.
They criticise your achievements and ambitions, show delight in your mistakes and failings. They don’t give you a lot of support or encouragement and become possessive and critical when others do. They don’t compliment you unless it serves a purpose and devalue anyone else who does
They have different standards for you, themselves and others.
It’s okay for you to be insulted or hurt emotionally. Expressing your feelings of pain or pointing out a behaviour is considered disrespectful. If you are hurt they blame you for your feelings and justify why something had be said or happen. They will even explain why others had to abuse you so as not to acknowledge your feelings.
They deny everything.
Unless it is to highlight how good they are to you. Pointing out how kind they are to the point of rewriting history sometimes. When they do perform an act of kindness they tell you about it and expect to be acknowledged for it. If you perform an act of kindness it is either taken as if it’s expected or refused and dismissed to devalue you.
They can be cruel and abusive.
And sometimes not even realise it. Constantly criticising and devaluing you, never acknowledging your needs or feelings. They constantly compare you to previous relationships and pay more attention to other people than you. They are confused if you show pain.
They are emotionally draining.
No matter how many times you try to explain how you feel and why you feel it they don’t understand. They have no idea how to apologise or ask forgiveness, but demand it from you. The only regret they acknowledge is becoming involved with you.
They have no respect for boundaries.
They disregard your values and standards. They undermine you to minimize you to yourself and others. They take what they want without asking. They use your weakness and mistakes against you and disregard your needs.
You do all the work.
If the relationship is ending they may not want you to leave but will not acknowledge any fault on their part. They may ask for time to change and a clean slate but will tell you what you need to do to improve the relationship. They insist you compromise to the point of just giving in.
Often when in an unhealthy relationship with a toxic person people are constantly second guessing themselves and fear getting something wrong. The truth is there doesn’t have to be a reason for a toxic person to treat you badly or even hate you. More often than not they created one out of their own insecurity.
Counselling can help improve self-esteem and self-confidence
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This article was written by sentientcounselling