Imposter Syndrome

Ever get the feeling you’re no good at what you do? Worry that you’re not breaking a sweat when trying and that someone sooner or later is going to see through you as the fraud that you are? We all have feelings of doubt from time to time but sometimes when we are consistently unable to internalise success we may be experiencing what is known as Imposter Syndrome.

Impostor syndrome is having feelings of inadequacy when usually the opposite is true. It is feeling chronic self-doubt, and of being a fraud.

There are different categories of Imposter Syndrome.

• Any success I’ve had is just luck. It had nothing to do with my skill, talent or ability. I won’t be so lucky next time.
• Playing down any success as not a big deal. For example everyone passes their driving test, it wasn’t important, I’d lots of help, or finding it difficult to accept compliments or praise.
• Believing that I don’t deserve this success or achievement and that others haven’t caught on to the fact that I don’t know as much as they think you do.

Ironically though Imposter Syndrome is usually associated with people who set the bar high, who work hard and generally succeed. The beliefs and attitudes are normally in contradiction to the evidence.

At the very core of Imposter Syndrome I believe are messages from significant others in our lives who may have contributed to these beliefs from the messages they gave us. For example unrealistic standards to reach or constant harsh criticism. The messages can lead to a difficulty being able to internalise successes and achievements, and the evidence of achievement doesn’t alleviate the feeling of inadequacy.

Another aspect of Imposter Syndrome can be a fear of succeeding. This may be from the pressure of responsibility that success brings, or the fear of being the target of other people’s criticism and harsh judgement. It can also lead to an avoidance of showing any confidence in case of failure or rejection.

I often believe awareness can be quite empowering as it allows us opportunity to change. If you can identify with Imposter Syndrome it can be helpful to identify what it is you’re feeling and when you’re feeling it. If you can recognise these are often automatic thoughts and are influencing your perception of reality you can safely challenge them. Recognise that we often emotionally reason situations. That is to say we believe it’s true because I think it, or it’s true because I feel this way, or it’s true because they said…. And so on.

Question the automatic thoughts and beliefs and try reframing the situation to think in a more balanced way. List your successes and recognise that no matter how small it may have been you had to have had some part in that success.

Lastly, remember the messages we hear that influence us? I’ll leave you with an unknown quote I heard recently. ‘Those who say you can’t and won’t are usually those who are afraid you will.’ This could include yourself.

Talking to a counsellor can help you learn to internalise your successes, accept and build on your weaknesses and develop a healthier more balanced view of yourself

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#impostersyndrome

Tags: automatic negative thoughts, awareness, counselling, reframing