Tag archive: assertiveness

    People Pleasing is much more than just being kind and considerate or just being nice to others. With constant people pleasing behaviours what we often see as a heightened sensitivity to the moods, the feelings, the needs of others.

    Following on from last time here are some more defence mechanisms. Undoing Undoing is an attempt at taking back a thought, feeling or behaviour that is hurtful or unacceptable. An example would be offending someone then pouring out lots of flattery and praise in the hope of undoing the original offence. Intellectualization Intellectualization occurs when…

    Having good healthy boundaries are often signs of healthy self-esteem and confidence. In a good relationship people respect each other’s boundaries and values. They are crossed or ignored in unhealthy relationships. Some people will honour and respect another’s position and assertiveness and some will pour out scorn and contempt. They may claim you’re unreasonable, selfish…

    The fear of being called wrong can be quite debilitating. In fact it can be more frightening than the realization that our life may be quite stagnant and sad and that we could be so much more. It affects our ability to make choices and decisions and is usually enforced by our various relationships and…

    Many people report feeling work related stress and anxieties due to an increase of harshness in the workplace. This is not unusual as we often have huge workloads which take a lot of from us. However the stress and anxiety is not always coming from the amount of work people are doing, the quality or indeed ever tightening…

    The way you hold yourself speaks volumes about you. Notice how people who mumble while they look at their feet don’t exactly inspire confidence in those around them, but those who make eye contact and speak clearly do. Here are some ideas to help with assertiveness and confidence. 1. Keep your back straight and your chin up. Avoid…

    Big boys don’t cry ….Well actually they do. In fact the ‘bigger’ they are I believe the more comfortable they are with being able to show their emotion, as well as cry. In today’s culture many men suffer some form of abuse in one way or another just as women do. Abuse can be seen as…

    The fear of confrontation can be stifling. Sometimes we fear confronting others because we dwell on the consequences, such as an angry response or a damaged relationship. This is usually due to our beliefs around confrontation. One belief is that confrontation has to be ugly. Sometimes we believe that when you challenge someone, the relationship will always…

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