Passive Aggressive Behaviour

Passive aggressive behaviour usually comes from someone being put down or suppressed as a child. The feeling of resentment stays with them throughout their adult life, and they find it hard to break the connection between authority and those old feelings of worthlessness.

Passive aggressive behaviour is usually triggered by a desire to please others. Reasons may include trying to avoid mistakes, fear of rejection or criticism, low self esteem or assertiveness, trying to appear more confident or trying to preserve some sense of self respect. However because passive aggressive people are unable or unwilling to express their true feelings, it can be difficult to understand their behaviour. These behaviours can include being closed minded, difficult, bitter, manipulative, forgetful, lazy, unreasonable, secretive, contrary or sly.

Passive aggressive behavior can be difficult to deal with, apart from the contrariness, it tends to differ in different people and in different situations. In the work place for example it can be destructive and demoralizing. Something to remember is that passive aggressive behavior is usually fuelled by a fear of rejection, and that most passive aggressive people resent authority. Try not to feel like the behavior is a personal attack on you. Instead recognize that they are usually tired of conflict or that they have learned to feel inferior. Perhaps one way to address this kind of behavior is show appreciation, let the person see they are valued.

If you recognize any of these behaviours or qualities in yourself counselling can help address the underlying experiences and feelings and learn new ways of asserting and communicating effectively and positively.

 

For further information on passive aggression visit http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/passive-aggressive.html

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Tags: aggression, counselling, passive aggressive