A manipulative relationship
We are all influenced by others, it is part of the normal give and take in any relationship. If you’re in a manipulative relationship though it may be hard to spot at first. Someone who manipulates others deliberately creates an imbalance of power and exploits it to their own advantage. This is when someone exercises undue influence through mental and emotional exploitation with the intent to control others to serve their own agenda.
Most people who manipulate others are quite skilled at what they do. The relationship may begin quite well with the manipulator being the most attentive and kindest person you’ve ever met. Quite often they say the things you really want or need to hear and are kind and generous to a fault. The changes come very subtly and over a period of time.
Most who manipulate know how to detect your weaknesses and will use them against you. They will convince you to give up something or compromise to serve their interests. Generally once a manipulator starts taking advantage they keep going over and over again until you put a stop to it.
Different types of manipulation include:
Positive – examples include a false closeness, making promises and withdrawing them, flattery and appealing to ego, emotionally bribing.
Negative – examples include continual criticism, threats to security, silent treatment, exclusion, leaving the victim feeling inferior
Playing Helpless – Examples include pretending to be weak, martyrdom, trying to elicit guilt from others, exploiting others good will or sense of duty
Deception – This involves lying, blaming, distorting the truth, exaggerating, giving mixed messages to confuse, withholding important information to easier control the victim.
Hostility – Examples include bullying, tantrums, intimidation, abuse, aggressive domination
If you are in or have come out of a manipulative relationship contact Sentient Counselling in Belfast to see how counselling can help you.
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Tags: aggressive, bullying, counselling, relationships
This article was written by sentientcounselling