Good Self Esteem

The word ‘esteem’ comes from a Latin word which means ‘estimate’. When we think of self esteem we are looking at how we estimate ourselves. Ironically however our self esteem more often than not is not so much what we think of ourselves but rather what we think others think of us. Our sense of self worth often comes from our relationships with others, particularly when we were growing up. For example if our parents punished rather than rewarded, if we constantly heard negative messages rather than encouragement when growing up then as adults we end up believing we are worthless. As untrue as this is we end up believing it, never really aspiring or growing.

Ways to help build your self esteem include being able to think positively about your qualities. If being positive is difficult then try thinking honestly and in a more balanced way – accept failures as well as successes and keep things in perspective. Recoginse we all have unique skills and qualities and begin to do things you enjoy, create some pleasure and success in your life.

Lastly remember others may not feel comfortable with you changing and feeling better about yourself. Having a healthy sense of self esteem means you can accept their thoughts, feelings and behaviours but not feel captive to them. For good self esteem it can help to take responsibility for yourself and develop a good sense of self respect. As mentioned earlier our self esteem can often depend on our relationships with others and the messages we receive from them. Perhaps try developing more positive understanding relationships where you can draw out the positive qualities in others without feeling threatened.

#selfesteem

Tags: counselling, self esteem, sentient counselling