Category archive: Just a thought

Passive aggressive behaviour usually comes from someone being put down or suppressed as a child. The feeling of resentment stays with them throughout their adult life, and they find it hard to break the connection between authority and those old feelings of worthlessness. Passive aggressive behaviour is usually triggered by a desire to please others. Reasons may include trying to…

Emotional abuse can damage a person’s self esteem and confidence. Given that quite often or own sense of self worth often depends on where we think we sit with others people can end up feeling devalued and worthless when being abused emotionally. The shame and secrecy of what’s happening usually allows the abuse to continue as…

Anger Management is important because anger can damage relationships. It can impair judgments, and have a negative effect on how others see you. It can effect, even hurt you in other ways if it gets out of control. For example it may hurt your career. Criticism when constructive can be a tool for improvement. If just…

I was having coffee with an old friend when we got talking about how our minds tend to sometimes wander off in directions, sometimes at the expense of the here and now. So just a thought for today I’d like to share with you following our conversation.  She said to me, “Sometimes we feel sad…

According to Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy (REBT) we have 12 irrational beliefs that can cause us distress. The first five are: 1. The belief that it is a necessity for adults to be loved by significant others for almost everything they do. Instead of concentrating on our own self-respect,on loving rather than on being loved. 2. The belief that certain acts…

We grieve when a loved one dies. It’s a perfectly normal and natural emotional response to loss. However grief is not just ‘sadness’. It is often a progression of different emotions such as shock, anger, anxiety, numbness etc. The grieving process, in which many emotions are experienced can take days, weeks, months or years. Some people may experience…

A narcissistic personality is usually characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, either in fantasy or behavior. There is also an overwhelming need for admiration. Most strikingly however is a complete lack of empathy toward other people. Narcissists usually believe they are of great importance in everybody’s life while displaying disdainful and patronizing attitudes towards others and their experiences, needs etc….

Fear of intimacy is not just the fear of romance or sex. It can be a fear of our connection to others. According to attachment theory infants who are not held, nurtured, encouraged and supported have difficulty thriving. Fear of intimacy could be because we have a fear of being abandoned, rejected or betrayed emotionally….

It seems to me these days we live in a society where finding someone to blame is more important than finding ways to put things right. It has become the blame culture. I guess if we find a cause then we’re letting ourselves off the hook. So if everything is everyone else’s fault then how…