Personalizing

Personalizing feedback and criticism can often lead to all sorts of difficulties with our self concept, esteem and confidence. We can sometimes end up feeling anxious, and even constructive criticism can feel like harsh judgement if we take it the wrong way. It can damage our relationships if we filter what’s being said to us a particular way.

Here are some tips to help not personalize..

1. Don’t be so harsh on yourself regarding mistakes and imperfections. Keep all ups and downs in perspective.

2. Don’t catastrophise mistakes or set backs. Ask yourself what can you learn from them.

3. Take responsibility for and own your emotions, label them accurately and honestly, don’t rely on or accept others telling you what you’re thinking or feeling or what your motives are.

4. Learn that rejection doesn’t have to be a negative experience or have negative consequences. it can either allow us to learn from where we went wrong or highlight different opportunities.

5. Don’t try to hard to please others just to feel accepted. A good quote I heard recently was, ‘Just be yourself, everyone else is taken’

In counselling you can address the issues surrounding why you personalize things and address them appropriately. You can learn to become more confident and assertive.

#personalization

Tags: anxiety, communication, counselling, relationships