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Defusion Techniques
There are many different defusion techniques to reduce stressful and tense situations. We have different ways of managing our interactions and responses in order to alleviate heightened emotions. One way to defuse unhelpful, distressing and self-defeating thoughts is to step back and look at them for what they really are, not what we believe they are. For instance, recognising our thoughts are abstract streams of words and images in our minds, not necessarily facts.
We all have beliefs. We believe in God, we believe in science, we believe the bus will get us there on time and so on. Our beliefs are based in either feeling or on facts. Sometimes they are based on feeling based on facts from previous experiences. When you step back for a moment and look at it you can begin to identify what you are really thinking and how you are feeling. Give it a name, call it what it is. Label what’s happening. For example, are you predicting the future? Judging? Evaluating? Remembering? Are you emotionally reasoning? Catastrophising and so on.
If it is an unhelpful thinking habit call it what it is. Sometimes by taking that step back it’s like we can see the bigger picture and not just the one thing we’ve been focusing on and worrying about. It can give us the space we need to reframe our perceptions.
Identify what you are feeling. Most of us can identify anxiety, fear and so on but go a bit further. I feel uncertain. I feel helpless, threatened and so on. Our feelings are very important and very honest however they are not always an accurate reflection of what is really happening.
Another useful defusion technique is to restructure your sentences. For example, notice how we say things like, ‘I really enjoy playing the piano’ and immediately add something like, ‘but I’m not very good at it’. I often feel that when we use a word like, ‘but’ it almost disqualifies what we’ve just said. Try replacing the word ‘but’ with something else like perhaps ‘and’ or ‘however’. Or how about getting rid of it altogether just put a full stop after what you’ve said and start a new sentence? Other harsh words like, ‘must’ and ‘should’ can put a lot of strain and stress on us as we strive to meet what might be an unreasonable expectation. How about saying, ‘I’d like’, or, ‘I try to’, ‘I hope to’. It’s saying the same thing but without the harshness. Notice how this takes the edge of what you’re saying.
This article was written by sentientcounselling