Verbal Abuse Counselling

A verbal abuser has the same underlying issues of control and domination as any other kind of abuser. Abusers generally feel happier if they make someone doubt themselves or back down. Then they behave as if nothing has happened as they feel more in control.

Verbal abuse comes in a myriad of forms, and although some can be blatant like name calling, insulting or constant criticism, it can be quite manipulative and subtle such as talking over the top of you or answering a different question – sometimes not answering at all.

During an arguement just it would seem a someone is about to reach clarification on an issue of contentention the abuser can change the subject. This serves two purposes for the abuser. The first to protect themselves from having to face the consequences of their behaviour by distracting or avoiding the real issues, and secondly to leave their victim feeling no better and in fact probably worse than he had previously because nothing has been resolved.

By deciding when and what to answer the abuser is controlling the conversation, and in turn the victim. In their mind knowledge is power, and they decide how much power their victim is allowed. This kind of verbal abuse is common in both domestic relationships and in professional ones as well, the more confused, dazed, frustrated the victim feels the more power and satisfaction the perpetrator feels.

Sometimes at work staff have found themselves at the mercy of a boss who has used this form of abuse to control information, as well as the threat of consequences if anyone questions them. Other tactics abusers use are to intellectualise to show their perceived superior intellect and avoid closure and clarification by distracting when confronted with difficult issues.

If you have experienced any of the above abuse counselling can help.

#verbalabuse

Tags: belfast, counselling, verbal abuse, workplace bullying