Category archive: Just a thought

Big boys don’t cry ….Well actually they do. In fact the ‘bigger’ they are I believe the more comfortable they are with being able to show their emotion, as well as cry. In today’s culture many men suffer some form of abuse in one way or another just as women do. Abuse can be seen as…

Sometimes during the counselling process it can seem as if clients are working in opposition to their therapists. The clients may not want to explore particular issues, change a particular behaviour or challenge some long held belief. In counselling this is known as client resistance. This behaviour may seem like a blockage to progress but it isn’t…

With age, with trauma, with so many demands on us our memories tend to slow down a bit. Have you ever been in a conversation only to forget what the other persons just said? Or watched a television programme only to forget what it was about? How about reading something, getting to the end of the…

Making peace with the past can be such a difficult concept for some people. Especially if we have be grieved or victimized in some way. We often define ourselves by our experiences, our relationships, our significant others even when it’s uncomfortable to us. For example people who have suffered abuse often refer to themselves as victims,…

When we recognize that anxiety is having a real fear of having no control over something very important to us, then we need to acknowledge there are some things we do not have any control over and can free ourselves by learning to let go. We cannot change the past yet we seem to drag it…

So what happens in counselling? Feelings, thoughts and behaviours underpin our relationships and it’s helpful to examine where they came from. After the initial stage of telling your story and explaining your difficulties you and your counsellor can begin to unpick what underlies your feelings,  the thoughts behind them and the behaviours that both trigger bad sensations…

Reframing isn’t ignoring problems but seeing a different point of view about how things may be. It is like seeing things from a different angle. Reframing offers people alternative ways of viewing difficult situations. It involves putting a different perspective on things that are concerning, worrying or problematic. An example could be someone saying, “I just feel anxious all the time…

We all have triggers for our anger, things that make us snappy or lash out aggressively such as maybe a person pushing in front of a queue or feeling we’re being ignored. Understanding what these triggers are and re-examining our thoughts around them can be the first steps to understanding and managing anger. We can begin…

Understanding one another better can help us all improve our relationships. All our beliefs have developed over the whole of our lifespan.  We learn from our significant others such as parents, teachers, clergy, friends etc. We also learn from watching others for example in the playground, adults arguing, television and movies and so on. It’s…