Tag archive: counselling

Big boys don’t cry ….Well actually they do. In fact the ‘bigger’ they are I believe the more comfortable they are with being able to show their emotion, as well as cry. In today’s culture many men suffer some form of abuse in one way or another just as women do. Abuse can be seen as…

Making peace with the past can be such a difficult concept for some people. Especially if we have be grieved or victimized in some way. We often define ourselves by our experiences, our relationships, our significant others even when it’s uncomfortable to us. For example people who have suffered abuse often refer to themselves as victims,…

A sociopath can take great delight in making others lives a misery. Nothing stands in their way and they will go to almost any length to get what they want. A sociopath may pledge undying love to someone yet turn out to be married.  It’s like they can lovingly caress someone while gently twisting a knife in their ribs….

Children with an avoidant attachment tend to avoid parents and other caregivers.  This avoidance can intensify after a long period of absence. The children may not reject attention from a parent or other significant figure, but they don’t actively seek contact. Often children with an avoidant attachment show no preference between a parent and a stranger. Adults…

When we recognize that anxiety is having a real fear of having no control over something very important to us, then we need to acknowledge there are some things we do not have any control over and can free ourselves by learning to let go. We cannot change the past yet we seem to drag it…

Avoidant personality disorder can be characterized by a pattern of feelings of inadequacy, sensitivity to what others think and social inhibition. It can be quite a stifling and restrictive way to live. Some typical behaviours include: Restraint in intimate relationships because of fear of being shamed or ridiculed Inhibitions due to feelings of inadequacy Avoiding activities that…

So what happens in counselling? Feelings, thoughts and behaviours underpin our relationships and it’s helpful to examine where they came from. After the initial stage of telling your story and explaining your difficulties you and your counsellor can begin to unpick what underlies your feelings,  the thoughts behind them and the behaviours that both trigger bad sensations…

Reframing isn’t ignoring problems but seeing a different point of view about how things may be. It is like seeing things from a different angle. Reframing offers people alternative ways of viewing difficult situations. It involves putting a different perspective on things that are concerning, worrying or problematic. An example could be someone saying, “I just feel anxious all the time…

We all have triggers for our anger, things that make us snappy or lash out aggressively such as maybe a person pushing in front of a queue or feeling we’re being ignored. Understanding what these triggers are and re-examining our thoughts around them can be the first steps to understanding and managing anger. We can begin…