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It’s good to talk
‘It’s good to talk’ is a common saying. We’ve all heard it at one time or another. I tend to believe there’s a lot of truth in it. In any relationship whether it’s with a partner, a neighbour, a friend, an employer, a family member or whoever communication is important. When a relationship goes wrong it usually tends to be when communication has broken down, or because it wasn’t there in the first place.
Some people may want to talk about problems, to air them and to try to find solutions whilst at times others try to avoid it. These people may turn feelings of disappointment, anger, disagreement and so on inwards leading to resentment and depression. There are many reasons for this. Among the most common being a fear of hurting the others feelings, damaging the relationship further or a lack of assertiveness. Some may even feel it’s selfish to have needs, opinions or boundaries.
As partners feel ignored they may try to talk about it even more leaving the other person feeling they are being nagged and put on the spot. As they withdraw further the partner feels even more ignored and may try to push for answers further. Eventually the communication may be about something else entirely, to talk about anything rather than what the original issues were. This can destroy an already damaged relationship.
In counselling people can learn to understand and overcome the blockages to their communication. It can help people not only to have the confidence to own what they think, feel, notice etc but to express it effectively and honestly without accusing. Sometimes it’s not just a question of saying it, or even how we say it but we can recognise how others hear what we say sometimes might not be as we meant it. It’s okay to ask each other for clarification.
Only by talking to each other can we begin to understand each other, and ourselves better. It’s good to talk.
If you would like further information on counsellng or communication, or if you would like to arrange an appointment then contact Sentient Counselling.
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This article was written by sentientcounselling