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The word ‘esteem’ comes from a Latin word which means ‘estimate’. When we think of self esteem we are looking at how we estimate ourselves. Ironically however our self esteem more often than not is not so much what we think of ourselves but rather what we think others think of us. Our sense of…

I believe that the key to a successful relationship is communication. For example if we don’t talk about what’s wrong how is the other person supposed to know? It isn’t just talking about it though as sometimes we have to be careful of the language we use, so as not to accuse or judge. Even…

Resilience is a word often heard when we talk about hardship and tragedy, but what do we mean by it?  It is the capacity to withstand hardship and difficulties and to be able to bounce back from adversity. Resilient people may experience the same things that others do but have adapted and are able to persevere onwards and remain…

As mentioned yesterday here are some ideas to help if you find yourself in a manipulative relationship. One way to detect a manipulator is to observe them to see if they behave differently around different people. Although this is quite normal for all of us manipulators go from one extreme to the other, for example helpless to…

We are all influenced by others, it is part of the normal give and take in any relationship. If you’re in a manipulative relationship though it may be hard to spot at first. Someone who manipulates others deliberately creates an imbalance of power and exploits it to their own advantage. This is when someone exercises undue…

Dissociation can be different from person to person. How we see the world around us determines our reality. Our life experiences, thoughts and feelings certainly contribute to these perceptions. However there are times when we may feel disconnected from what has happened or what is happening. Our perceptions of reality may become blurred, along with our…

Gambling addiction, or gambling compulsion is a disorder where a person cannot control the impulse to gamble, even when they know how unhelpful and hurtful it is to themselves and to those around them. Gambling is all they think about whether they are happy or sad, angry or excited, just paid or broke. Some ways to help…

The stages of change model was developed in the late 1970’s to early 1980’s by James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente when working with people who smoke. The stages of change are as follows: Precontemplation. This is the stage where the person does not yet acknowledge that there is a behavior that needs to be changed….

For some people their first time in counselling can be quite daunting. The therapist will understand this and help put you at ease. You can ask some questions if you like, perhaps about the therapists qualifications and experience, or which professional body they belong to (Such as the National Counselling Society, BACP, IACP etc). They should belong to…