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    Perfectionism is striving for something that is often unobtainable. If you are a perfectionist you probably don’t acknowledge your success even if you do reach it. In fact you’re already looking for somewhere to improve. Another way of looking at perfectionism is a fear of making mistakes. This can involve spending hours going over the same…

    We often think in terms of being happier when we have more of what we like or less of what we don’t like. As we reflect on the past year with all it brought we think of what will make us happier. So with a new year often comes new resolutions. Have you ever noticed…

    Is it okay to be in a relationship where you feel as if you don’t matter? When is it okay to not have your needs met? Is it reasonable to be told you’re selfish and wrong for having needs, values, and boundaries? Ever been left sometimes feeling as if you really are selfish for even having needs?…

    How many times have you heard phrases like, “You have to earn my respect”, or, “Respect has to be earned”? I have heard that said many times in my life. There have been times when I’ve heard one person say it to another. Sometimes it has been said to me or about me. Other times I…

    Co dependency has many different levels and take many different routes. The road isn’t always clearly signposted. However there are some signals that may not make sense at that time but may well help inform future processes. Many years ago when Dave’s nephew was just a little kid playing with plastic dinosaurs and toy racing cars, he was asked…

    Ok so it’s World Mental Day. What does that mean? What is your mental health? Hang on, isn’t mental health only something that happens to other people? I say that because I remember many years ago when studying counselling an old woman in her seventies, following me around the place I worked in talking at…

    Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) is an approach to therapy developed during the 1980’s by a team lead by husband and wife Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg. Unlike other kinds of counselling and psychotherapy, it doesn’t begin with and explore the client’s difficulties. Nor does it focus on the history and frequency of…

    Psychodynamic counselling aims to help clients with a wide range of issues such as anxiety, phobias, OCD, addiction, trauma etc. It is also particularly helpful in relationship counselling as partners explore the conflicts within themselves and their relationships around them. It comes from the work of Freud and subsequent psychoanalytical theorists who followed; theorists such…

    Sometimes people can find it difficult to separate assertiveness from aggression. Perhaps there have been times when others have asserted themselves with us aggressively and that we didn’t like how we felt about that encounter. Others may find it hard to assert themselves as they may have never felt valued or listened to, so out…

    A traumatic event is a shocking experience for which our normal ways of processing and coping become overwhelmed. Reactions to such events vary from person to person but often lead to feelings of confusion and fear. Usually unsettling thoughts and feelings dissipate over a few weeks as the brain begins to make sense of and…

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